Seeking Asian Female

I first saw a cut of this film during s WGBH producers workshop a couple of years  ago and was taken with it right away. The director, Debbie Lum, was exploring an intriguing issue for her and for  the characters in her film:  can a young Asian woman find happiness with a older American man  obsessed with Asian women?

Here's the trailer

As we talked about her film in  the workshop I remember telling Debbie,"don't be shy about putting yourself  in the film as a third character."  This, I told her, would help clarify the issues in the film  and add an extra level of intrigue as Debbie mused about her role in the relationship between Sandy and Steven .  Debbie Lum, a Chinese American filmmaker,  narrates the film with skepticism and humor . especially in the early stages of Steven’s search for the perfect Asian wife.

Steven is a baby-boomer in his early 60's who is twice divorced.  His ten year search for an Asian wife led him from “mail-order” bride catalogues to online dating websites where he finally met Sandy.

Sandy, whose Chinese name is Jianhua, grew up on a tea farm in the remote mountains of Huangshan, China. At the age of 18, she migrated to Shenzhen, where  she worked her way up from the factory floor to an office job . Still single at age 30, she went online looking for love and met Steven. 

The film intensely documents  their relationship from the moment Sandy arrives in the 
US on a 3 month fiancé visa.  It starts down a road with many twists and turns, many arguments about his former Chinese girlfriend, Molly, and about who should do the housework in Steven's home. All that tension has Sandy finally confiding to Debbie one day that she plans to leave Steven.   Steven is discovering what it's like to deal with a real woman, not his idealized  version of an Asian wife.

Despite all the arguments, they do marry and then just three months later, Sandy leaves Steven to stay with friends.  But eventually she returns to their home, which is now sparkling, all cleaned up by Steven, and they settle into a relationship that seems to be doing much better.  And through the film , the filmmaker makes her own journey from  deep skepticism about the relationship  to a role as translator,  confidante and " marriage counselor,"  to deep doubts about whether she interfered too much ,  and from there to share their happiness as the marriage finally succeeds, "In  love and documentaries", she concludes, "You just  never know." 

I found the film personal , intricate and wise , and Debbie fully delivers  on the promise of her own story in the film. All is all, an excellent piece of work .

There is an intriguing radio piece about Debbie's journey on This American Life

The film will air on PBS Independent  Lens May 6 .   Other screenings  are listed here.

I also found it streaming on Vimeo part 1 here and part 2 here

I hope you enjoy the film as much as I did.